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Hello, my name is Rabia. I am a 45 year old female. I lost my wife 5 years ago. I have 2 sons and 2 daughters. My oldest son and older daughter got married and live separately from me. Together with my youngest son and daughter, we live in our family apartment in one of the conservative districts of Istanbul. Other than us, my 2 in-laws, my father-in-law and my mother-in-law live in the building. My middle sister-in-law was also living before, but when she moved to Sakarya due to her job, her flat was empty.

Our family is religious in nature. All of our women and girls in the family are closed. We never go around bareheaded. I instilled this in my daughters from an early age. Being a widower, I follow these rules more strictly for myself. I always wear wide skirts that go down to my ankles, my headscarf is always on my head. But it is not like those who appear on the streets with their headscarved and open asses tied. I always cover my shoulders and chest. I don’t like to wear peasant-style print skirts, I sew my own skirts because I’m a tailor. When I go out on the street, I always wear my coat or a ferace.

Our marriages have always been within the family. My late husband was the son of my mother’s uncle. So we always stayed in our family. No one else lived in our building. We did not give a house to someone who came from outside. However, this situation changed after a while, and this change changed my life as well…

My middle-in-law’s flat was next to ours. After being vacant for about 6 months, my father-in-law decided to find a tenant here. But he still wanted someone familiar. At that time, my little brother-in-law told me that a young man named Tahir, who works as an engineer at the same company as him and is about to get married, is looking for a house for rent. When my father-in-law met this young man, he decided to rent the house.

I used to see Tahir and his fiancee Emine from time to time during the cleaning of the house, the arrival of the furniture and the dowry. Tahir was 30 years old. Emine, on the other hand, looked 20-21 years old. Tahir looked like an educated and dignified, well-trained, respectful person who knew how to sit and stand. Emine, on the other hand, was a more child-like person next to him. We got along easily with the girl and got along. I loved her like my own daughter.

Then they got married on a Sunday. I went to the wedding with my little daughter. Tahir was very handsome in his suit. Emine, on the other hand, had a closed wedding dress, she looked very beautiful too. They were both very happy and excited. We returned home before the wedding was over. The bridal procession arrived around 21:00. I looked through the hole in the door. His relatives also came. Then, around 22:00, their relatives left. The new bride and groom were alone in their home. I thought wickedly (Now it’s clear what they’re going to do, Emine will be a woman tonight!).

I told my children that I would go to sleep at around 11 pm, went to my bedroom and undressed and lay on my bed. I didn’t know that the room next to my bedroom was Tahir and Emine’s bedrooms. Voices were coming from the other side of the wall. Our building was old and thin walls. If someone in the next room coughed, it would be heard as if it was coming from the room inside. My mother-in-law, who lived there before, used that room as a nursery. At that time, only the voices of children could be heard. But now there were other voices. I could hear the bed shaking and rattling violently.

When I pressed my ear against the wall, I realized that there was a violent fuck inside. Tahir was fucking poor Emine badly. Coming out of Emine, “Ighhh, ıghhh!” and “Ahh, slow down, please, my love, slow down, ayyy, ahhh!” I could easily hear their voices. It had been years since I had heard such voices. I felt a stir inside me. But I was very ashamed of what I did. I just took my head off the wall. Young people were doing what everyone who got married did. When I got married, I was fucked by my late husband just like Emine is now.

That night, the bed creaking did not cease until morning. While hearing these voices, different feelings and thoughts went back and forth in my mind… As time progressed, voices continued to come from the bedroom of our newlywed couple every evening. I finally succumbed to my nafs and started to lean my head against the wall every evening. In fact, I was trying to understand how and in which position Tahir fucked Emine from the voices. The inside is full and fierce ‘Slap slap slap!’ when their voices came, they said that Tahir had fooled Emine; When the bed creaking was too much, I thought that he was fucking Emine by taking him under.

We used to fuck up and down most of the time. My husband would climb on me, fuck for a minute, ejaculate his cum on my pussy, and then lie down snoring. Apart from that, he used to fuck me up and down if no one was home. Since I’m a fairly tall but light-weight woman, my husband’s cock blows made loud noises on my hips. We would not want others to hear this, especially our children. In any case, when my children were born in turn, our fucking life with my husband was not the same as before. I was also devoted to my children.

As I heard and listened to Tahir and Emine making out like this, I was satisfied with my hand in my bed. Until that day, I would not do such things, I was ashamed and thought it was a sin. But when I heard these voices, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was a woman, after all, and I had needs. I’ve been a widow for 5 years and I’ve never seen a dick face. I devoted my life to my children and forgot myself.

Some nights I slept with my little 17-year-old daughter. But I no longer had him in my bed. My daughter said, “Mom, I want to sleep with you!” when she said, “You’re a big girl, it’s past time to sleep with me!” I would say. He would insist, but I would refuse. She would be upset, but I couldn’t sleep with my daughter next to me while I was satisfying myself in bed.

I was stroking my cunt with my hand, and as I put my fingers in and out, my body was electrified. My breasts were big and I was stroking and squeezing their ends. At this age, as I still felt my pussy watering, I was putting my fingers in and out of it more violently. Meanwhile, moans were falling from my lips in silence, so that my children could not hear. And when it came out, this time I felt bad, ashamed of what I had done, thinking that I had sinned and betrayed my late husband. My throat was choking and I was crying silently in bed.

When I sent my children to work and school in the morning, I would run to the bathroom and take a bath and perform ghusl. I was swearing and repenting to myself that I would never do such a thing again. But when the night came and the sounds of sex came from the next apartment, I was forgetting the vows and repentance I had given myself in the morning.

If I told my father-in-law to get Tahir out of the house, “Why?” he would ask. Well, he was a respectful kid who paid his rent on time. Why would he take it off? On the one hand, my family, my children, my beliefs, on the other hand, my femininity and sexuality… I remembered that I was a woman at this age. I owed this to the young couple (I’m really ashamed to say it, but Tahir) in my next apartment. That’s what made me think I had betrayed my husband. Otherwise, I was not lying to anyone, but it was always Tahir that I thought about while satisfying myself. He was only 5 years older than my eldest son. I regretted even thinking about these things…

In the following evenings, I began to satisfy myself with my husband’s picture in one hand and my pussy in the other to console myself a little. I was looking at our wedding pictures and stroking my pussy and my breasts. “My love, I wish you were with me, if you would feed me with your dick, if you would caress my breasts!” I was talking quietly to myself. Even on nights when I didn’t finger myself, I had a seizure in my sleep, so I was dreaming and ejaculating. So much so that I used to take a bath once or twice a week, but now I wash almost every day.

This is how my days passed. Since we lived in a family building, we could easily enter and leave each other’s house. It was as if my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, our children were all living in the same circle. Our days were spent together, and in the evenings, everyone retreated to their homes. Ours was a crowded building. My eldest brother-in-law had 6 children and my younger brother-in-law had 4 children. My middle brother-in-law and brother-in-law, who moved, were left with 5 children. It was a building where sexuality was intense, but quiet and self-living, although it was fanatical.

Even though it has been cut in recent years, I had heard and listened to the bed creaking of even my mother-in-law and father-in-law who lived upstairs. Since I was the eldest bride of the house, my in-laws and in-laws treated me with respect. Since I was more serious and dignified than my hands, my mother-in-law and father-in-law would not treat me and talk to me the way they treated them. My mother-in-law used to visit me less.

Since Emine was a housewife like us, she was always at home during the day. We used to visit each other often. The girl loved me as if I were her older sister, treated me respectfully and did not fail to serve. I would look at her and ask myself if the moaning sounds were coming from this girl, under her husband in the evening. Emine was a medium height, thin but quite beautiful girl. She was a person who wore make-up and had her hair and eyebrows removed to make her husband like her even though she was closed. His black, thick eyebrows seemed to have been drawn in pencil, and his pearly white teeth were visible as he laughed. She always had more or less lipstick on her lips.

Tahir, on the other hand, was a tall, well-built and handsome young man, dark-skinned, of the kind called beautiful men. He was an engineer and worked in a good position in the same factory as my little brother-in-law. Since there was no educated person like him in our family (although I had a hard time admitting it), my platonic interest in him increased even more.

When I looked at Emine, I thought of my own youth. When we first got married, my late husband and I used to fuck every night. Every day, we waited for the time when we would be together at night. We wish that time would never end. Like Emine, I used to dress myself up to please my husband. Every evening he would come home from work, tired, and I would do my best to comfort him. However, these happy times and our fucking life were interrupted when we became pregnant one after another. This time, we started to fuck whenever we got the chance.

My breasts were big back then, but they didn’t look down like they do now. My husband loved my breasts. He was constantly hands, sucking, kissing and licking them. My nipples would swell and enlarge with his sucking. After the process of kissing and licking my breasts, neck, I would lie on top of me and I would put my legs up in the air and my husband would start to fuck me like this. My big boobs rock back and forth with each cock blow, “Aghhh, ahhhh, ohhh, ummmh, ohhh!” He involuntarily took the sounds out of my mouth. “Faster, faster, ohhh, go ahead, root, root!” my words would make my husband more ambitious and fuck me harder. My husband used to grunt like a pig when he fucked me like that. He was already strong and strong like a pig. But he always had one shot gunpowder. A short time later he would groan and ejaculate. And then we hugged each other and went to sleep.

I loved my husband very much. I had known him from an early age as he was also a close relative of mine. He was 10 years older than me, and my father-in-law said to my father, “I’m going to take my son’s first daughter to be born!” When he said that, my destiny was drawn. I was only 17 when I got married. After the first 3 miscarriages, I gave birth to my eldest son at the age of 20. I had 3 more miscarriages later on. So I actually got pregnant 10 times. I had four children…

After a while, voices began to come less frequently from the bedroom of our young couple. It was clear that they didn’t fuck every night anymore. Then, after a while, I learned that Emine was pregnant. As a result of these fucks, she became pregnant. This meant that from now on, there would be no sound from the next apartment until Emine gave birth. The voices had stopped, it was obvious that Tahir had not touched Emine. In this case, she began to satisfy herself, just like me. Our destiny was common in this matter. He was 31 while I fingered myself. But after giving birth he would start fucking Emine again, and I had nothing to eat.

I started sleeping with my daughter again. But now some things had changed. If my little girl put her head on my breasts while she was sleeping, something inside me would start to stir. I had become disgusted with myself. I was satisfied when I was alone at home. She goes into my room, pulls up my skirt and takes off my panties, unbuttons my shirt, fingering my pussy, stroking and squeezing my nipples. I was hugging my pillow tightly as if he were my late husband. I was holding my legs up and rocking back and forth on the bed to myself, as if my husband and I were having sex like old times again. I was on all fours, squeezing my cunt’s lips, fingering myself, groaning, delirious. Sometimes I would go ahead and wash the vegetables such as cucumber, zucchini or eggplant that I bought from the market and put it on my mind.

But all this was nonsense unless it was a real husband and a real dick. Once, in such a moment of satisfaction, there was a knock on my door. My mother-in-law and my big hand were ringing the doorbell one after the other. They had come to sit with me and drink tea. I could hear my mother-in-law shouting at the door. However, at that time, I was lying on the bed, naked in my bedroom, shoving a huge cucumber in my hand. It was impossible for me to open the door. I got scared. I jumped out of bed and got dressed. They were gone by the time I got dressed.

My mother-in-law counted a lot of words that day, “Sorry mom, I’m tired, I went to bed!” I had to lie. But in the evening, when my daughter said she found a cucumber on the floor by my bed, I blushed. I forgot to throw the cucumber in that rush and fear, she. “I had a craving for food for a while, I put it on the nightstand, but it must have fallen to the floor!” I made up a lie. I don’t know if you believe it or not, but I was so embarrassed. How could I explain how at this age a woman with 4 kids screwed herself with a cucumber in her pussy?

Emine was a bit of a frivolous and perky girl, of course her youth had a part in this. She said that the obstetrician she went to once told her that it is not a problem for couples to have sexual intercourse during pregnancy, on the contrary, it is a very good thing. She told me without hesitation that the doctor had also told her how and in what position she would have intercourse with her husband. I was embarrassed when I said that, but I didn’t say anything.

“Nothing would happen if I was on top, or when I stood and bent down, but you come and tell Tahir about it, he is very afraid that something will happen to the baby. I’m telling you but he doesn’t believe it. He doesn’t even touch me anymore!” said. Then he said that they tried several times (even standing in the hall) but Tahir was shy every time. She said she was worried that her husband might go to other women.

“Men are afraid of pregnant women, my daughter, that is why they do not approach you. But Tahir Bey is not the kind of man to go and cuckold his pregnant wife. You keep your heart free!” I gave advice. Also, “Don’t tell anyone about your private life in public!” I said. Emine slapped my arm and said, “Rabia sister, I don’t see you as a foreigner, that’s why I’m telling you!” Even if she says, “Fine, don’t tell anyone about your husband, even if it’s your mother!” I added.

But I thought about what Emine had said that night. I dreamed of them in the living room, even though my daughter was lying next to me. Tahir was teasing her and squeezing behind her back. Emine’s belly had grown a little, her body was swollen with the weight she gained, and her breasts had also grown. Her hips trembled as Tahir rooted for her. Emine’s swollen breasts, which were hard and stone like due to her youth, were constantly moving from side to side. I put my right hand under the covers and start stroking my cunt over the top of my nightgown. My daughter was in a deep sleep.

In my imagination, as Tahir took root in Emine, his hips were getting tighter and tighter. He grabbed her waist with his strong arms. They were clamped together, so I couldn’t see his dick. Her naked and strong body was right in front of me, I was watching them while they were fucking. The movements of my fingers accelerated, I was sucking my lips. I was turning my head slightly with my eyes open with the pleasure I received. Just like the nights my husband and I fuck in silence so our kids won’t hear. My husband and I used to fuck on the floor to prevent the bed from squeaking. We would lay a thick quilt or blanket on the floor and do it on it.

I cramped, clenching my groin as an indescribable wave of pleasure enveloped my entire body. The fingers of my right hand seemed to be stuck in a vise. I wanted to pull my legs bent at the knees, but I couldn’t because I was afraid that my daughter would wake up. When I came to my senses, I noticed the wetness in my nightgown. My pussy was quite watered with the effect of the intense pleasure I experienced, and it soaked my panties and nightgown…

I couldn’t sleep that night. I got out of bed in the morning after my children had left. It was like a man ejaculating in his panties. I’m surprised my pussy got this wet. I immediately ran to the bathroom and washed. I repented when it came out, but I knew it wouldn’t work…

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